It’s good to be a Ms.

ImageI was putting a return address label on my bills… you know, one of those labels that comes in the charity solicitations.  (OK, so sometimes I use the labels and don’t send them money… we all do it! Right?)  Anyway… the label had “Ms.” before my name.  It started me thinking.  I’m really happy to be a Ms.  I mean, I’ve been a Miss… that was fun, boring, troubling, and (as hindsight has shown me) soooo much easier that anything else. I’ve been married… so I was a Mrs.  That was also fun and warm and cozy and I felt more special because someone picked me out of all the others in the world. That’s sort of cool.  But it turns out that being married to a cocaine addict isn’t nearly worth it. So, I got divorced. In the process, though, I became a mom… which is extremely cool and exceedingly draining and then amazingly refreshing. And as this mom… and after seeing the label, I realize it’s good to be a Ms.  Let’s face it… hanging our personal validation as a meaningful human being on marriage is like putting our neck into a noose. We don’t become someone important because we are married. We don’t achieve something by getting married. Don’t misunderstand. I’m not at all opposed to marriage. I just don’t see it as “necessary” to complete me. I used to be there. And I’ve had many friends over the years who have experienced that same “need” to be married – gay, straight, whatever.  But today, a return address label made me realize that just being a Ms. is good.  Just being me is good.  Just being is good.